The majority of theories on how to pick up girls were compiled by guys who had problems with women and tried to get better. Therein lies the very nature of the problems with most theory. They all assume that you, going over to the girl, have less value then her. By assuming this, you’re forced to play a role of lower value. Why on earth are you assuming you are worth less then the girl? I don’t care how hot she is!

This is especially true of the rapport versus attraction theory. The theory is: assuming you have two glasses that you need to fill attraction and rapport, the attraction glass must be filled before she will pay attention to your rapport. Well this theory suffers greatly from ‘my rapport isn’t high enough value for her to listen to.

What your saying is that you have to WORK for her ATTENTION. By thinking this, you PLAY into the role of having less value. Let me put it to you this way, if you are a nerd and you walk over to a hot girl and she says “bug off,” you’re probably going to turn around and walk away right? Then your going to come up with strategies to make her pay attention. Now what if you were better looking then Brad Pitt, had more money then Donald Trump, and she said that. You would probably laugh. And she would respond differently because you responded differently.

You see all the outer problems stem from internal responses. What you believe shapes your reality. And if you believe you need to fill an attraction glass- that you need to fight for her attention you are falling into the frame that you are inherently NOT good enough.

Well my friend, this is BASED on FALSE assumptions that you are not good enough and therefore must get her interested. If you assume anything at all- instead assume she loves to hear your rapport and get to know you. All people WANT- NEED to be loved. they just have filters. You should assume your better then the guys she filters out, and laugh away any resistance. Why bother juggling and dancing, and doing all kinds of routines just to get her attention. Respond differently to resistance, respond with confidence and you can forget the two glass theory. How you respond to her should MAKE her interested by displaying a stronger reality.

Like my business partner Cameron Teone always used to say- it is like the scene in the Matrix where Neo must jump across the buildings. He can’t do it until he truly believes. Well, I am telling you to believe in yourself and knock over the attraction glass. You DON’T need it. It is a theory born from insecurity.

All you need is rapport: confident rapport. So what’s the difference between insecure rapport and confident rapport? It comes down to your inner beliefs. Do you believe she’s going to listen and like what you have to say about yourself. You should. In fact she should be hanging on every word you say because you believe she needs you. If you have that inch of doubt, that means you believe she isn’t ATTRACTED to you, and you need to build the attraction then. But what if you didn’t have that doubt? Girls can smell confidence, and they can definitely detect any insecurity. They will see the confidence you have in yourself when you are straight forward and you just assume they will like you. And they WILL respond positively. Remember an inch of doubt and you’re dead in the water.

Dreamweaver

Now the context of using this is that I have only used it with gals in a casual environment, (a bookstore, coffeeshops, restaurant). Haven’t tried it in clubs nor do I think it would work in a club setting. This is for when you are alone, having one of those one on one, deep rapport conversations, as a prelude to (a few steps before) the full close. Here was my response… and everytime I’ve used it so far, it has gotten deep levels of rapport (it became about them seducing ME) as well as broken down any resistance…

As far as anchoring, when I’ve done this, I used sugar packets once, and I used my fingers (pointing to them) the other times.

(You may want to read the theme itself before reading about the anchoring part next so that it will make more sense)

Actually using my fingers as an anchor was kind of a subtle sexual signal, because I would put my 3 right hand fingers up (one finger for each value, as if counting), and point to them with my left index finger and then when I would do each of the “2 values without the 1″, I would form a “ring” with my thumb and index finger of my left hand that would encircle the two fingers of the other hand… and as I talked I subtly slid my encircling hand up and down over my fingers. (first each of the 2 together and then the 3 all together at the end)

I actually did this without thinking about it consciously at first, then I wondered why the chick I was talking to got all flushed and started breathing heavy as I was moving my left hand index/thumb “ring” up and down the “shafts” of the fingers of my right hand. Anyway, here it is…

———————————–Begin theme

“I have a new theory about all relationships and what makes up the ideal one.

First of all you need Passion. This is where you have a physical chemistry with this person, where you feel drawn to this person that you’re with, you may even feel a warm feeling right here in your stomach and maybe it spreads all over your body when your with this person… where you can lose track of time and give yourself completely to this experience…

Next you need Intimacy. This is where you feel an emotional connection with this person, like you’ve known them before, and like you were always meant to know this person… like this was meant to be and where you feel completely comfortable and close… and you may feel it right here in your heart…

Then you need Commitment. Philosophers have called this a sense of “duty”… where you feel secure, knowing that this is someone that is here for you, that we both choose to be together… and this is someone that you can see yourself with now and in the future…

Now, all relationships are based on varying degrees of each one of these elements.

For example if you have just passion, but no intimacy or commitment, then that would be like just physical infatuation. Like a one night stand or something… nothing more, nothing less…

If you have just intimacy, but no passion or commitment, then that would be just friendship. And we all have those…

If you have just commitment, but no passion or intimacy, then that would be an empty relationship. Like a lot of married people out there… so sad.

Then you can have passion and intimacy, but no commitment. This is like a “Romantic affair”… and maybe the knowledge that it is something that’s now or never… or that you have no guarantees about, makes the passion and intimacy even more intense…

And you can have passion and commitment, but no intimacy. That is like people who stay together because they really like the sex.

And you can have intimacy and commitment but no passion. That would be like grandma and grandpa who are together for companionship, but cant remember the last time they did it.

And of course the ideal, as with all things… is about balance, where you can have just the right amount of passion, just the right amount of intimacy, and just the right amount of commitment… well… now that I think about it, an extra little bit more passion would be nice… what do you think?”

IN10SE / Twotimer

Now there are many other things that Eliciting Values does if done properly.

One thing is the “File system” theory, and another is getting her to “Feel” the states associated with those values.

Here’s a run down of the File System theory.

The mind keeps file systems and organizes thoughts, feelings and states in file systems.

To illustrate, what is the first thing that you think about when I say think about a big 4 legged animal that begins with the letter “E”.

You’d probably say “Elephant”. That’s at the top of most people file systems.

The way I use this idea is as follows:

To induce a state of “Attraction”, I want a woman to open her file system for attraction… and more specifically to put me in it.

I also want to be put into the “Ideal Lover” file as well as the “Perfect Guy” file if at all possible.

So how do I go about doing this? – Asking questions that cause her to go inside and OPEN these files. (So tell me about your perfect guy… how would you know that this guy was perfect for you… how do you know that you’re attracted to this guy…)

It really doesn’t matter at ALL what her answers are. In fact, each woman has not only different “End Values” (The quality that they are after) for what they want in a perfect guy, they also have different “Means Values” (How they know).

Do I care if I don’t satisfy her values fully? No… in fact all I care about is that I have opened her “File” and that I am in it.

Now how do I put myself in those files? Many different ways, from actually demonstrating value, to telling stories about how in the past you met those values, to using “linkage” words like “THIS” person (versus THAT person) and “THESE” things (versus THOSE things) that associate her into the experience.

And for those who know about neurolinguistics, people will LOOK to certain places and use certain gestures and say certain words when they open their particular “files”.

Noticing these is what calibrating is about. I notice these things and mirror them back. These are so called “Anchors” that link external to internal reality. It’s better to use someone’s own anchor than trying to create a new one.

So yes… there is MUCH much more to eliciting values. It’s a way to get inside a woman’s world and get her FEELING.

IN10SE / Twotimer

What happened?

She FEELS she knows me better then her best friend and her logical brain supplies her with information “You don’t know this guy!”

And yes, rapport gets you girl!
The following is for guys who want Rapport Fast:

Attraction is naturally created between people.

With deep rapport you will get her. If not the first time you see her, then the second or third you will. She will remember you as someone special and think of you all the time. Good rapport brings the chick to you.

What to do to get in rapport, guys:

* Relax. It is important. RELAX. Nervous guys, don’t drink coffeine, don’t look around like you escaped from jail. Act like you’re alone in the most comfortable place on Earth. Make that place exist in your imagination if you have never been in a place like that.

* Avoid everyday chat (weather, school, job, newspapers, movies..) you will need weeks to get rapport with that.

* Skip the usual introductions and talk with her like she is your twin sister, in fact even more openly than you would with your twin sister.

* Go deep (share some emotions with her, talk about yourself (example: how you fell in love first time when you were 5 years old, how you had a rabbit and he was your friend and when he died you were very sad and felt vulnerable..)

* Listen when she follows with her deep story. Leave comments aside. Don’t interrupt with: “That’s good!”, “That’s funny”, “Oh that’s so bad for you”. Just listen. Don’t criticise or judge her whatever she says. Never involve in discussion. If you do so you’re pushing her away. If you “agree” with her or “approve” her actions you loose trust from her. Just listen. Ask a question if something is not clear to you. When you finish asking, shut up and listen her for a while. You must NOT become her cushion. It happens in 15 mins to 2 hours, only longer in special situations. Don’t make it long. If you make it long without stepping forward (kiss), there is a danger of becoming a friend, or even worse, marriage material.

* Don’t try hard to find common things between you two. Do it more like you’re just informing yourself about her and her about your thoughts, or even better, you’re just thinking loudly, with no specific objective.

* Don’t give her eye contact too much. Save it’s power for later. Give it more and more in moments before kiss, and make a last one longer.

* Cube and similar techniques can work if used on right place in right time and by skilled person. I prefer something else: use experience to explain how she feels or what she thinks or why she behaved in such way in such occasion. That adds HUGE amounts of rapport, it’s quicker and less borring.

Newbies, the above is gold , I’m writing it for you instead of sleeping so *pay* *fucking* *attention*. Re-read, apply and get that girl!

Cortez (Badboy Lifestyle)